Charter for Not So Fine Scale Railway Modellers

 

 

The Ten Commandments

 

1 Since the model railway hobby consists mainly of immature old men playing with toy trains, descriptions such as fine scale modelling or creative artistic craftsmanship in miniature are simply in denial of the reality of their situation.
2 All locomotives and rolling stock must be equipped with full size, bogie mounted, Tri-ang Railways compliant Mk. III metal couplings at both ends. All locomotives and rolling stock must be able to operate over and couple up automatically on first radius reverse curves. All other forms of couplings are unreliable, especially at full speed and in reverse.
3 Tri-ang Super 4, Code 150 steel track is the track of preference, thus taking full advantage of the superior performance of locomotives fitted with Magnadhesion. All rolling stock is to be fitted with wheels that have wide treads and deep flanges to ensure superior tracking ability, especially at high speed on first radius curves.
4 The power controller dial must be able to go up to 11. You never know when that extra turn of speed will be found necessary. Aficionados of Spinal Tap will understand.
5 Fine detail on layouts, locomotives and rolling stock is completely unnecessary as layouts will be viewed from a sensible distance and trains are to be kept moving at an enhanced speed, preferably setting 11 on the controller.
6 Microsoft products are not to be used on layouts. Dodgy software and temperamental computers are an unfortunate necessity in real life but not for a subject as serious as toy trains.
7 No Digital Command Control system is to be considered for use on a layout unless the layout is to be operated entirely by ladies. Men simply do not have the ability to multitask.
8 No type of advanced technology that cannot be repaired quickly in an exhibition environment is to be installed on a layout. Keep it simple, stupid.
9 Self nominated, so called prominent modellers and conceited fine scale zealots must not be permitted to be in contact with the public at an exhibition. Layout operation is to be undertaken entirely by presenters with enthusiasm and an aspiration to enjoy themselves and also to entertain and converse with their paying public audience.
10 If you do not agree with any or even all of the listed commandments, that's not a problem. Unlike obsessively serious fine scale railway modellers, we absolutely respect the right and the privilege of others to hold and express an opinion differing from ours.
11 Like the controller, the list also goes up to 11. Remember, trainsets and model railways are supposed to be fun.

Eastbank MRC  MMX

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